More Evidence of Global Conspiracy

The editors of late have wondered if they are suffering hidden significance re: the link between marketing and communism. To clarify: how many people are employed to come up with ideas to sell to other people who come up with other ideas to sell to others which in total amount to made up words? Editors think too many. One person can dig a ditch. Putting ten people on the same ditch and calling that an enterprise solution for the new market economy serving the needs of the millenium demographic is not exactly the economic sector we should be proud of cornering.

DID YOU THINK THAT PHONE WOULD MAKE YOU SECRET-AGENT-MAN FOREVER?

HEADLINE: Global Explorations to Distribute Press Releases and Facilitate Public Relations for Veltex Corp; Fifth Public Company to Announce Partnership

This is the important part:Global Explorations has expanded its database to more than 1,000,000 cell phone numbers. The company shall also distribute press releases to its database of more than 1,000,000 people.

The editors look foward to receiving these calls.

TAKE NOTE OF YOUR ENEMY

Global Explorations in association with Millennium SMS (http://www.MillenniumSms.com) develops SMS software for consumers and businesses. The company in the process of building a worldwide database of cell phone numbers which can be used as a marketing vehicle.

OUT OF NY NY: SHAMELESS PROFITEERING OFF PABLUM

HEADLINE: Udi Behr Debuts "Unity" Jewelry for America's Election Year 2004

"There may not be much unity between the two candidates, President Bush and Senator John Kerry, but there certainly is a reservoir of love, peace, and hope in the hearts and minds of America's citizens," so states Israeli-born, New York-based jewelry designer Udi Behr. Adding, "And that is the key component of my new 'Unity' design."

Editors note: you can buy these exclusive emoticons at Sam's Club.

HI RES PHOTOS: www.lobelinepr.com/love

MADE UP WORD OF THE DAY

Out of PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL AND LONDON

Recruitmax Launches Aloha; New Product Automates the Critical Employee Onboarding Process;
Improves Organizational Efficiency, Retention, and Performance by Streamlining How New Hires are Assimilated Into Positions

The editors are curious about the positions the flesh things are being assimilated and onboarded into.

BEST NEW PRODUCT

Out of HORSHAM, PA

NutriSystem introduces the first product that aromatically "flavors" water. Aquaescents Water Bottles and Fruit Caps "flavor" water through this unique product to help dieters lose weight.

Editors note: the aquaescent caps are available in mix and match lemon, peach and berry. This delicious scent water compliments fries out of a machine perfectly.