KEEP YOUR POPCORN TEXTURED

BEST NEW PRODUCT

Editors note: It was a close tie today between a new reality TV show that pits "living humans" against "predatory spirits" and the selection below. Product press releases generally contain far superior safe harbors than entertainment releases, and have the potential to improve the lives of our readers. Today's product screams out to the segment of our audience (and half of the forward looking staff) that answers to the call "Hey! All you out there living in your synthetic carpeted, press-board paneled shit holes watching TV with the volume up to drown out the sound of your neighbor's bathtub farts, this is for you!"

Out of WALL TOWNSHIP, NJ

Have Hurricanes Stained Your Textured or Tile Ceilings?; InstaGone Explains the First and Worst Things to Do

InstaGone Consumer Products is offering a free consumer guide entitled, "10 Ways to Keep Your Popcorn Textured and Tile Ceilings Looking New."

Also available: "Pete's Ceiling Wizard"