DIAMOND-BEARING DYKE

BEST NEW TITLE: SECRETS

Note from Editors Var.: this really stands on its own. No comment.

OUT OF SARANAC LAKE, N.Y.

At 11, Kristen moves in with John and Ellen Cameron after her parents, both successful scientists, die in a plane crash.
Two years pass and Kristen, who is tall, thin and very shy, settles into her new life. Then, Ebony Rose Jamison enters into the picture. Rose wins "Star Search." Ryan suggests Kristen pretend to be Rose. Ryan and Kristen keep the deception a secret.

An accountant by trade, [author] Laplante says she is a writer at heart who has dreamed of becoming a romance novelist since she was a young girl. She believes there is nothing more important than love and romance.

BEST HEADLINE
Out of VANCOUVER, British Columbia

No comment.

New Diamond-Bearing Dyke

BEST BOILERPLATE

Note from Editors: we found this to be so charmingly pretentious, so fucking faggy, even the fag editor hurled.

OUT OF SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vt.

Johnson & Perkinson is a litigation boutique located in South Burlington, Vermont dedicated to maximizing returns for shareholders and employees invested in company stock.