WHY IS "IT" CALLED "HE"

BEST LEAD GRAF, LEFT US WANTING MORE

Editors Var. note: the following company released two breathtaking pieces of news today. The captivating beauty in the right place at the right time crossed the wire minutes before the helpful etiquette hints for schoolchildren.

Out of LOS ANGELES

John Robert Powers Student Secures Modeling Contract With Elite Modeling Agency

Competition was fierce, but in the end 13 year-old Tobar's captivating beauty and confidence shone through to secure her a contract with the well-known Elite Modeling Agency. Under the guidance of her John Robert Powers (JRP) mentors, Tobar was cleverly placed in the right place at the right time.

Tips from the JRP finishing school:

--Say "I'm sorry" when you hurt or offend someone, even by accident.
--Your schoolmates will want to hang out with you more if you don't disgust
them at lunch.

BEST NEW TITLE ANSWERS QUESTIONS ABOUT ALIENS, THE KORAN AND GAYS

Editors Var. note: the importance of Life's Big Questions persuaded us to choose this story over coverage of "The Venetian Wash," a technique that allows brunettes to radiate with rich coffee browns blended with clay or taupe shades and redheads to shimmer with deep coppers, brick or redwood enriched with apricot hues. (works well with men and blondes too).

Out of BROOKLYN, NY

Despite its religious controversy, "The Bismar Book" also explains in details many of the topics humans have always wondered about; such as:

About Humankind: Our weaknesses and strengths.
-- Why we are here
-- Our constant good and evil battles
-- Gays and Lesbians
About Life: The true meaning of life.
-- Depression helps
About God: Its unexplained and unproven existence.
-- Why is "it" called "he"?
Aliens: Our beloved neighbors.
-- The difference between the so called "angels", aliens, and ghosts