PET-PARENTING GONE OVERBOARD

BEST NEW TITLE

Out of LOS ANGELES

Is Pet Ownership Destroying the Lives of Americans?;
New Book Exposes America's Dog Worship and its Serious Implications

Editors note: Editors var. are current and former dog owners and pet lovers but even as such can testify to the truth of dog ownership harming lives. However, after much discussion with valid examples (outfits, baby voice, sick days, ten thousand dollar operations) we can't actually determine that the lives of the individuals harmed by dog ownership would actually be rational even without their fidos. Upon adding this premise to the argument, Editors Var. find no harm to actual rational people.

Enlightening and provocative, Is Pet Ownership Destroying the Lives of Americans? is a work of advocacy focusing on dog owners and pet-parenting gone overboard. Her subject is timely and provocative. Her quotes are from publications which reflect the urgency of today's growing number of pet-parents who eat, sleep, and bathe with their dogs. She reveals that dog owners have crossed health boundaries through their obsession with their animals. She explains that dogs pose a serious threat not only to our health but to our children's health. They also harm our lifestyle as rational human beings.

BEST NEW PRODUCT TO DRIVER WILD

Out of WOLFEBORO FALLS, NH

"DRIVER WILD cologne and TEES perfume are the world's only cologne and perfume that do the talking for you. Each 3.4 oz. bottle has a silver or pink gold, electronic, talking golf ball recorder which allows a golfer to record and play 1,000 messages for your favorite playing partner...a real live message in a bottle."

Editors note: the following fragrance offering is from the makers of golf balls that glow in the dark. We have come up with a list of messages to record for those who find themselves at a loss for words when it comes to glowball romance:

You're not a gay are you?
Wanna make me dinner?
Do you like it different ways?