Your Future Leader

was found pulling her own hair at three weeks old. In the end we only really hurt ourselves.

Wednesday shows a Varied Forcast

Yesterday's press release highlights.

Big money out of MILWAUKEE via South (or is it Central?) America
1:50 PM EST

Commerce Group Corp. was Granted Two Additional Concessions from the El Salvador Government to extract metal from their terra firma. Highlight: "These two concessions/licenses give accessibility to additional ore reserves besides the probable/possible 3.4 million ounces of gold in the San Sebastian Gold Mine."

Calculated on Thurday's closing price per Troy ounce, a whopping $1,322,600,000.00 is potential. Quick, how many pins filled with angels does that number represent? First correct poster wins a concern.

More mould news out of CARLETON, Mich.

Highlight: from the late K-9 Detection announcement: "There are only about 90 mold dogs in the United States, and we have one of them,"

Best melodrama goes to Xlibris out of NEW BUFFALO, Mich.

"On September 11, 2001, the great abyss in United States history opened like a cataclysmic, shock-induced fissure in the relatively smooth surface of American life."
Look up the full text for more extraordinary poetic commentary on war hysteria.

Best new campaign comes to us out of SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif.

"12 to 20 Plus, Inc. (OTCBB:TTTP) is launching a major national marketing campaign to raise awareness of its brand." The brand is anchored by their flagship product, the Zit Stick.

favorite marketing words that sound like they mean something but don't:
corporate concept
successful build-out
achieving significant revenue streams

Out of SAN FRANCISCO, proof that boiler rooms are operating beyond the state borders of Florida.

"Market Timing: "Slow Markets Often Present the Most Obvious Opportunity"

This release also demonstrated the best ESL effort seen by the editors in weeks.

Many factors that may be Market moving in normal environments simply are not because there is not awareness within the market like there normally is.

PRODUCT NEWS

...When fired, a ShockRounds(TM) specialized bullet generates an extremely high voltage charge which has the capacity to cause immediate target incapacitation on impact. See: www.shockrounds.com

Honerable mention for product news comes from AUSTIN, TX
X-Ray Cameras Are Back...

"Since making its first appearance in 1998, Peeping Toms have been distributing pictures on the Internet of women who appear almost naked despite wearing clothes or a swimsuit.
Until recently, this capability has been confined to expensive modified Sony NightShot or Panasonic models, or rare Sony Handycams manufactured before August 1998. Now, just about anyone with a camera can do it at minimal expense."

but read on...

"There will always be abusers of [any] technology, and they must be held accountable," said Thompson. "A.D.D. Creations does not encourage this behavior. There are a lot of legitimate and affordable applications for infrared imaging in business, government, and education," he added.

but...

As of now, the door is wide open to anyone with a video camera and a copy of X-Ray Cameras Revealed.

More of yesterday's news

Out of Seattle:

Amanda, "a thirtysomething working girl" is handing out the gift of the golden arches to the city's homeless, cause she felt bad. The headline for this story, Seattle McDonald's Angel, Seattle Girl 'Super Sizes' Homeless suggests, perhaps unintentionally, a growing problem. Hopefully, when the new supersized bums learn that I will no longer be donating cigarette butts, they will skip San Francisco on their yearly southern migration and land directly in Santa Monica.

Out of Atlanta:
Exclusive MoldMAP(TM) Tool Provides Early Warning of Potential Mold ProblemsTuesday June 15, 3:58 pm ET

Out of Kansas:
The Blitz Beating Battle of the Bulge!Tuesday June 15, 10:00 am ET

KANSAS CITY, KS-- "The Blitz® -- 20 Minute Total Fitness for Men" is reshaping America. The World's largest and fastest growing Fitness Franchise for men is doing its part to rebuild the male species. Who wrote this story?


Out of OKLAHOMA CITY
Dobson Communications Is Closing Its Fairbanks, Alaska Call Center The Fairbanks facility is technically insufficient and apparently Dobson does not know the wonders of duct tape. Even a piece of toast gains technical sufficiency with the addition of duct tape. It comes in colors now too.

Out of el ay
Financial Executives International Summer Seminars Focus on Tax Risks, Employment Law, Crisis Communications, Business Intelligence and Negotiating;
-- Speakers to Present at Regional Locations throughout Los Angeles -- Who knows what these terms actually mean?