More Evidence of Global Conspiracy

The editors of late have wondered if they are suffering hidden significance re: the link between marketing and communism. To clarify: how many people are employed to come up with ideas to sell to other people who come up with other ideas to sell to others which in total amount to made up words? Editors think too many. One person can dig a ditch. Putting ten people on the same ditch and calling that an enterprise solution for the new market economy serving the needs of the millenium demographic is not exactly the economic sector we should be proud of cornering.

DID YOU THINK THAT PHONE WOULD MAKE YOU SECRET-AGENT-MAN FOREVER?

HEADLINE: Global Explorations to Distribute Press Releases and Facilitate Public Relations for Veltex Corp; Fifth Public Company to Announce Partnership

This is the important part:Global Explorations has expanded its database to more than 1,000,000 cell phone numbers. The company shall also distribute press releases to its database of more than 1,000,000 people.

The editors look foward to receiving these calls.

TAKE NOTE OF YOUR ENEMY

Global Explorations in association with Millennium SMS (http://www.MillenniumSms.com) develops SMS software for consumers and businesses. The company in the process of building a worldwide database of cell phone numbers which can be used as a marketing vehicle.

OUT OF NY NY: SHAMELESS PROFITEERING OFF PABLUM

HEADLINE: Udi Behr Debuts "Unity" Jewelry for America's Election Year 2004

"There may not be much unity between the two candidates, President Bush and Senator John Kerry, but there certainly is a reservoir of love, peace, and hope in the hearts and minds of America's citizens," so states Israeli-born, New York-based jewelry designer Udi Behr. Adding, "And that is the key component of my new 'Unity' design."

Editors note: you can buy these exclusive emoticons at Sam's Club.

HI RES PHOTOS: www.lobelinepr.com/love

MADE UP WORD OF THE DAY

Out of PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL AND LONDON

Recruitmax Launches Aloha; New Product Automates the Critical Employee Onboarding Process;
Improves Organizational Efficiency, Retention, and Performance by Streamlining How New Hires are Assimilated Into Positions

The editors are curious about the positions the flesh things are being assimilated and onboarded into.

BEST NEW PRODUCT

Out of HORSHAM, PA

NutriSystem introduces the first product that aromatically "flavors" water. Aquaescents Water Bottles and Fruit Caps "flavor" water through this unique product to help dieters lose weight.

Editors note: the aquaescent caps are available in mix and match lemon, peach and berry. This delicious scent water compliments fries out of a machine perfectly.

Naked Short Selling

MEANINGLESS PHRASING OUT OF TUSCON
HEADLINE: Environmental Technologies Completes Successful Negotiations to Acquire Revolutionary, Patented Building-Environment Technology

Clarity is achieved later in the release with a description of the technology: it represents a quantum leap.

SECOND PLACE IN THE MEANINGLESS PHRASING CATEGORY OUT OF SCOTTSDALE
HEADLINE: Mellon Research Inc. Announces Great Opportunity with Company Well-Positioned for Growth

Is it coincidence both of these companies shout out from Arizona? The editors think not.

TAKING FIRST PLACE FOR WISTFULLNESS

Out of WESTERLY R.I.:
In a perfect world, unrequited love would not exist. In a perfect world, unrequited love would be a mere concept a visionary would conjure up in his mind. But the world is imperfect as imperfect can be, and unrequited love is here to stay.

MORE NAKED SHORT SELLING NEWS

INDIANAPOLIS, nteractive Motorsports and Entertainment Corporation (OTCBB:IMTS) received confirmation that the company no longer is listed on the Berlin-Bremen Stock Exchange effective the end of business on June 21, 2004, it was announced today by William R. Donaldson, Chairman and CEO of IMTS.
The company was listed on the Berlin-Bremen Exchange beginning on March 12, 2004, without knowledge or authorization from IMTS management.
Management recently became aware of the German listing, and also learned of the widespread concern among many other OTCBB companies of the potential of "naked short selling" on the German exchange.

ETC.
Editors Var could not agree on categories for the following:

Gatlin is no longer operating and the shell from which it operated is now doing business as MB Tech, Inc.

Imagine Boosting the Arizona Economy While Assisting Its Community's Youth!;
We're Remodeling the Way Business Owners Are Conducting Business! (ALSO OUT OF ARIZONA! COINKIDINK? EDITOR THINKS NOT! EDITOR THINKS THIS IS MORE EVIDENCE OF THE CONSPIRACY Other editor thinks editor is coming down with something.

God Plays for Keeps

Out of LA QUINTA, Calif.

Hot off the vanity press, Cindy Balch offers up for sale a book stressing the price of ignoring God entitled The Journey is Too Great for Thee: When the Journey is Too Long, Too Hard or Too Scary to Make Alone.
For review copies or interview requests, contact: 800-839-8640 ext. 244

Out of VANCOUVER, British Columbia (hail!)

CYOP, seller of online video games and "tournaments of skill" has been forced to request a delisting from the Berlin-Bremen Stock Exchange. Strangely enough, CYPO found itself listed, although they never applied for the honor, nor were ever notified that they had become a public concern. The president expressed his concern: "We were surprised by the action of the Berlin-Bremen Stock Exchange to list CYOP Systems International Inc. stock without authorization. Furthermore, there are widely reported and serious concerns about the motivation behind those people initiating such actions."


And a WorldCom settlement is estimated by Salomon Smith Barney to be worth less than 1 cent on the dollar. In the class action case No. 02 Civ. 3288 DLC, Citigroup (NYSE:C) will pay stockholders $1.2 billion to settle their class action claims. As investors have lost over $100 billion in market value, this settlement represents a small fraction of their damages. The editors wonder what the number 100 billion looks like in soap bubbles or marbles.

BEST PREDATORY PRACTICE

Out of DETROIT, June 21, 2004

Upcoming Hello Kitty Shopping Card Appears in Elle Girl Magazine

Legend Credit is currently completing development of the Hello Kitty reloadable debit card for release prior to the back-to-school selling season.
Building on the success of last year's Hilary Duff Visa gift card, Legend's latest card product with global sensation Hello Kitty will have numerous features and benefits including allowing users to add more money to their cards. The company's research indicated that the reload option was one of the most sought after elements of a teen spending card.

BEST NEW PRODUCT
Out of BLUE BELL, Pa.

Tasty Fries, Inc. Delivers French Fry Vending Machines to Classic Vending, Inc.

FRIES OUT OF A MACHINE!!!

Tasty Fries has developed a patent-protected vending machine that prepares, cooks and dispenses freshly made fries with superior dietary attributes, flavor, aroma and texture. Total cooking time is approximately 90 seconds for each order. The fries are made from top-quality potatoes and are cooked in cholesterol-free oil using state-of-the-art robotics and technology.