MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING

BEST HEADLINE
Out of SHREVEPORT, La.

"Crushing Life's Beauty with a Fierce Hand"

Editor notes: this came in close competition with "True Story of Visits by Demons and Love for God" In this new title, the author describes how Demons visit him in the night. This subject matter would generally be given top mention for the religious content alone, but the winner was bumped up the extra notch by the title, "I Can't Smell the azaleas"

BEST "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT JOB" RELEASE

Out of WASHINGTON, D.C. and AMSTERDAM

Northrop Grumman Corporation (NYSE:NOC) and EADS (Frankfurt, Paris and Madrid stock exchange quote "EAD") today announced they have signed a memorandum of understanding to begin collaborating on ballistic-missile defense solutions.

"This industry relationship will underpin the government-to-government relationships that are essential, as global, layered, missile defense becomes a reality," added Winter. "Together, our portfolio of capabilities will give our governments what they need to successfully develop and operate this layered system."

BEST MEANINGLESS MARKETING SOLUTION
Out of NEWPORT BEACH, CA;

AXM Pharma, Inc. (AMEX: AXJ) announced today that the Company appointed Ogilvy & Mather Public Relations to provide marketing communication support for new marketing, sales and distribution programs being implemented for all products.
Scott Kronick, Managing Director of Ogilvy PR in China said, "AXM has an interesting business model and exciting brands that are just starting to take root in China. We love opportunities like this in which we can begin to measure success from the very beginning."

Editor notes: best phrase to replace interesting business model and exciting brand wins $3.50. (cash)

BEST MIND THAT DRAFT IS THE RIGHT ONE EDS. VAR.

Out of POWAY, CA; MARKET WIRE

In the news release, "Aldila Reports Strong Second Quarter 2004 Financial Results" issued earlier today by Aldila, Inc. (NASDAQ: ALDA), we are advised by the company that the headline should read, "Aldila Will Review Second Quarter 2004 Financial Results in Conference Call." Complete corrected text follows.

NEW TITLE ABOUT THE WILD EYED

Out of VALLEY FORD, Calif.,

New Book Presents a Peaceful Pathway Out of a Violent Culture

"True liberation is to know that we can make up new words, new societies, new governments, new institutions, new human beings and new relationships that transcend the anxieties and fears that lash us to the old domination system," says Peter Lawson. True to form as a politically radical man of faith, he authors Jesus Circles, the earthshaking new book that shows how we can extinguish the fire of domination systems and realize a healing, nonviolent way to justice and social abundance.

BEST 'YOU ARE SHITTING ME'
Editors note: The following borders on giving comfort to the enemy.

Out of LOS ANGELES

Week Long Raw Food Retreat in Ojai, CA

Ekaya Institute -- Storm Talifero will host a week-long raw food retreat at The Matilija Ranch in Ojai, California August 6th through 12th. The retreat is open to anyone who wants to attain their ideal weight and increase their health and fitness.
54-year-old Storm who looks 35 has been a raw-vegan since 1972. He has been giving raw food retreats for 15 years aboard a 50ft sailboat and in the mountains of the Central Coast. He is known for delivering the healthy lifestyle message with humor and compassion.
The Raw Vegan Diet consists of fruits, nuts, and vegetables with nothing heated over 104 degrees.

This is Storm's second retreat at The Matilija Ranch, a 500-acre property set in the national forest with three historic ranch houses surrounded by organic orange groves. A river runs through it and peacocks roam freely. The houses are decorated in 1910 period furnishings.

Editor must note again: PEOPLE ARE PAYING MONEY TO EAT NUTS AND LETTUCE.

NOBODY IS INTERESTED

Editors Var. are discouraged.

ANTHROPOMORPHIC GOD OF ETERNAL FUNDAMENTAL MYSTERY

Out of  PRINCETON, N.J.
Editor notes: E. Colleague follows the way of Buddha. His eyes were opened. He prostrated at the feet of Buddha and became his lay adherent. This happened sometime last week. Editor suspects a girl is involved.
 
A new study just released looks at natural religion for peaceful human coexistence, featured in The Natural Bible For Modern And Future Man by John F Brain.

It concludes that the only possible true god is the "god of Nature", the basis of all natural function responsible for the Universe and for the terrestrial chemistry of which Man became a part. It suggests that only such a non-anthropomorphic god of eternal fundamental mystery will ultimately be revered appropriately by Man but cannot be expected to respond to prayer or to provide immortality.

BEST NEW OPPORTUNITY
Out of ORLANDO, Fla.

The Board of Directors of Omni Alliance Group Inc. (Pink Sheets:OMNA) announces that the Company will be re-positioning its business direction and focusing on niche leisure life-style consumer markets.

The stunning opportunity: Management is currently reviewing acquisition candidates and strategic relationships to facilitate its plans moving forward. 

OUR MACHINES WILL KILL YOUR MACHINES
 
Out of FARNBOROUGH AIRSHOW U.K.  
 
Northrop Grumman Corporation (NYSE:NOC) today unveiled a full-scale model of its X-47B Joint Unmanned Combat Air Systems (JUCAS) vehicle during the opening of the Farnborough International 2004 air-show in the United Kingdom.
 
COMPETING WITH THE GOD OF NATURE
 
Out of SUN CITY, Ariz.
 
Imagine a coast-to-coast trip that would take twelve minutes, a trip from New York to Boston that would take only three minutes. Fiction? Think again. In the revolutionary new book, TRANSAT, author "Raff " Rafferty has it all figured out.

The proposal begins with a simulated ride experience on this fast transportation system, continues with a description of its features, illustrates the physics and mathematics of its operation, and carries through the proposed development of the TRANSAT Corporation and its economics.

"Furthermore, it provides the phenomenon of significant cost reduction in both people transport and commerce transport," says Rafferty. "The TRANSAT concept solves many of the world's problems that presently exist because of our existing transit systems. It solves the energy requirement problem, the environmental pollution problems, the increasing cost problem. It brings the whole world's people closer together," says Rafferty.

 

A SERIOUSLY SALACIOUS TWIST RERUN 13 TIMES

Editor notes: the phrase with emotions raging as girl after girl is revealed or eliminated was stricken from below, but we thought you might enjoy it anyway.
 
Out of HOLLYWOOD, Calif.
 
Galactic Gaming Strip Poker Invitational, Hosted by Carmen Electra, Debuts on iNDEMAND -- July 18th, 2004 -- 10:00PM EST 
 
Galactic Gaming, Inc. (Pink Sheets:GAMX): Aces & Eights Entertainment is pleased to announce STRIP POKER INVITATIONAL hits the airwaves this weekend. Hosted by Carmen Electra and starring six gorgeous girls vying for a $50,000 pot, reality poker brings together cards and beauty for a sizzling television event. Full listings are available at www.indemand.com.

The game is Seven Card Texas Hold 'em. The pace is fast. The action is intense. The winner takes all. And bit by bit the losers lose . . . well let's just say -- enough to give the serious game of poker a seriously salacious twist.

Girls will be girls and the nudity is light-hearted and fun. But the game itself is deadly serious. With $50,000 at stake these beauties are truly going for it they are ready, willing and eager to bet it all and lose the shirts off their backs for a shot at the pot.

BEST NEW REASON TO BE WARY OF THE GROWING POWER OF EVANGELICALS
 
Editors note: There seems to be a growing distinction between Christian and Evangelical Christian that is not being given enough serious attention. Christians will in all likelihood never be talked into kamikaze missions. Evangelicals, on the other hand...
 
Out of PHOENIX
 
ItsFun.com, a subsidiary of Advanced Solutions and Technologies, Inc. (OTC: ADVK), is establishing a separate web site dedicated to churches. The new site, MusicToYourEars.com is expected to be a valuable fund-raising tool for churches, giving them a worldwide audience for their music and the sermons preached by their pastors. It is slated for launching in mid September.

The new services will be made available to the churches free of charge, with all fees being waived by the administrators. Choral and other church music can be uploaded to the site, as well as sermons which can be made available in both audio and text form. Users who have paid a monthly membership fee can then download them.